Please don’t beat yourself up or shame yourself for the times you don’t feel like you do it perfectly.
Perfect doesn’t exist.
You will be tired.
Lose your temper.
Be distracted by your phone.
Because you are human.
What matters is how you deal with it.
Can you say sorry?
Can you explain to your kids that how you behaved wasn’t about them?
Can you let them see you human-ness so they know they don’t have to be perfect either?
Can you look at WHY you react and do the work to unravel some of that so you are able to respond differently in the future?
The fact that you are asking the questions and doing the work so you don’t negatively impact your kids tells you all you need to know.
And stop shaming yourself – you’ve spent your whole life doing that and you can stop now.
You aren’t bad. You haven’t ruined them.
To put a different spin on it.
A narcissist never questions if they are a narcissist. But those of you who are not and never will be, sometimes do. We have a sneaky way of gas lighting ourselves- especially when we’ve been in environments where we are often blamed for things that don’t sit with us.
Asking the questions, looking at the uncomfortable stuff and being willing to do the work is all you need to know.
Recognise the patterns and behaviours that need addressing – that maybe do mean you show up for a you kids in a way you don’t want to – but don’t torture yourself for being a human. Give yourself love and do the work.
Sending love to all the imperfect humans out there.
That’s all of you (and me) by the way.