You’ve decided you want to lose a few pounds and are determined to do it asap.
But now the world is opening up, invites for social events are pouring in and you aren’t sure you can achieve the goal AND go to all the things.
It’s been a year of not being able to do anything so you want to go and enjoy yourself.
Which means enjoying the food and the drink right?
But… you really want to feel your best when you go to all the things and aren’t sure you can do both.
So what the hell do you do?
Follow this plan exactly and see what happens (you’re welcome):
1. Get clear on your why.
Why do you want to achieve the health goal?
Is it necessary?
Is it for health or vanity?
What difference will it make if you do/don’t achieve it?
Get super clear on all of this and come back to it as you navigate any challenges that crop up along the way.
2. Play to your strengths
What are you good at when it comes to losing weight?
Which bits do you find easy?
Where can you score the quick wins?
Focus on doing those things.
The bits you always struggle with?
Find a different way. You won’t improve a significant weakness enough to make a difference.
Focus on playing to your strengths and you set yourself up for success. (This may be meal planning, or a certain type of exercise, or cutting out certain things temporarily – don’t overthink it. The point here is don’t try and force yourself to do things you hate or are no good at – it wont work).
3. Watch for the feeders/set your rules and stick to them
Not everyone is going to like you making choices to eat differently/exercise more and they may have something to say about it.
Having clear boundaries for how you will behave and let others behave around you will let you stick to your plan, no matter what others say.
Some ideas:
“I’m going for a walk, see you in an hour.”
“I am choosing not to eat xxx right now.”
“I am not available to discuss my diet/exercise choices.”
“I am happy with my goals, don’t let them bother you.”
Get willing to feel a little uncomfortable when someone challenges you and stick to your guns regardless.
And if you set a clear boundary and they breach it, remember you can’t control them but you can control you – it’s ok to remove yourself from people or situations that don’t feel good.
4. Believe in yourself and don’t be a d1ck to yourself when you mess it up
You know you can do it. You have the tools. You can get support.
Remind yourself you are human – it will go wrong at times and that’s ok – you are willing to learn on the way to creating the goal. Give yourself grace, kindness and compassion instead of shaming yourself and you will bounce back from any setback much more quickly.
Plus if you believe in yourself and your ability to achieve the goal – you won’t quit on yourself and you make the desired result inevitable.
Perfect doesn’t exist. Success is achieved by not giving up.
5. Don’t compare your chapter 1 to some one else’s chapter 20
Keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for YOU. Keep an eye out for comparison or being worried about what others think.
What others think does not matter.
You matter.
Your why matters.
Your goal matters.
When your brain tries to shame you or a family member tries to force feed you cake or ask why you are being boring – come back to the why from question 1 and carry on.
Also be on the look out for comparisonitis. When you see someone you think is more healthy (thinner/happier etc) – remember you haven’t got a clue what the truth is.
Your brain may like to spend a lot of time bogged down with comparison and judgement – don’t let it.
6. Be willing to push back
It may seem easier to just eat the cake than deal with Aunt Sally’s sad face that you won’t eat the pie she made especially for you – but that’s not going to help you achieve your desired result.
Here’s an idea of how you might go about responding “this is so sweet of you but I’m going to pass. I’m not eating pie right now”. Then no matter how she responds, if she doesn’t drop it you have an option to say, “no thanks” and leave it there.
If the idea of this sort of interaction leaves you with sweaty palms, that is the work you need to do.
Why doesn’t it feel ok to say no to something you don’t want to do?
What needs to change so it does?
The ability to do this is crucial. The desire to people please/ avoid feeling uncomfortable may make you want to eat the cake, but that is how you disappoint yourself – and you aren’t doing that anymore.
(Being able to have this sort of conversation will require you to be clear on your why, boundaries, confidence and self belief, judgement and having difficult conversations – it all comes together to create a world where you can say the hard thing – and being able to say the hard thing is EVERYTHING).
7. Only go to events that bring you joy
Just because you are able to mix, doesn’t mean you should/have to.
For each invite you receive consider if it’s something you actually want to do and then make a decision from that space.
It it’s been quite nice not to have to see your horrible aunt for the last year – you can still choose not to see her….
For the stuff you do decide to go to – have fun, enjoy yourself and know that you don’t have to throw away your goals to have a great time.
Time to get to it?