– What if no one wants you?
– What if you can’t do it?
– Market conditions aren’t right
– Your parents/friends/colleagues will think badly of you
– Walking away from a career you trained for is a waste
I could go on (but I won’t – you have all this and more in your head already, right?)
Although they are all very normal thoughts to have – if you don’t work through them, a year down the line you are going to be exactly where you are now.
And if that isn’t somewhere you want to be, you have to start doing things differently.
(Einstein’s definition of insanity feels relevant here: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Don’t let this apply to you).
Here’s your game plan:
1. Explore your strengths and values.
Consider how you can use them more in your day to day and avoid anything that conflicts with them.
2. Learn the tools to implement and uphold boundaries.
To say no. To put yourself first. To disappoint yourself last.
3. Feel confident that the change you want is possible for you and believe that you have the capabilities to make it happen.
Not measuring your worth and value on your job status is also crucial here. If your identity is tied to your profession, you will need to do some work to separate yourself from that.
4. Make decisions that are right for you, not based on what others might think (and no matter what anyone else has to say about it – this is a biggie!).
Don’t let what your parents might say stop you having the life you want. Parents generally want their children to be happy and although they may have an outdated vision for what that should look like (I think they sometimes forget that a single employer for life and a final salary pension scheme aren’t really a thing any more), remember that your wellbeing is generally their main priority.
So do what is good for you and it will be good for them. (And if it isn’t, it’s a topic for another email – but you for sure don’t want to restrain your happiness to try and fulfil an unmet need of theirs. Not healthy. Don’t do it).
5. Know how to have any conversation, with anyone.
Nailing this skill means you no longer experience the stress and anxiety that results from being unable to discuss the topics that need it. (Particularly relevant in a career change context when you need to resign/tell your parents/apply for new jobs etc etc. Not being scared of having certain conversations with specific people is going to change EVERYTHING for you).
6. Know exactly what you want your week to look like and how to make it happen.
When you understand the schedule that works for you have have the ability to put boundaries in place around that, your energy, productivity and overall quality of life will improve. And that my friend, is a win win situation for EVERYONE in your life.
Learning and implementing these tools as you go through a career change WILL ensure that you get the result you want (which let’s face it is usually a feeling of one or more of relaxation, calm, contentedness, secure).
Rush into a career change without dealing with this stuff and you take it all with you.
If you are a perfectionist who people pleases to seek approval – you will be a perfectionist who people pleases to seek approval until you learn not to be.
The same with working late or saying yes when you want to say no. If the internal driver is a fear you aren’t good enough and a desire not to be considered lazy – that stuff is going with you, whether you want it to or not.
For me personally, leaving law came with immediate improvements to my general wellbeing and quality of life, but I took my perfectionism, people pleasing and poor boundaries with me. I had to unlearn all of those things so that I didn’t simply go from burnt out lawyer to burnt out coach.
Do the work now so that whatever you do next feels the way you want it to.
And I can tell you from personal experience that the predominant feelings you get from doing this work are calm, happy and lighter – good right!
Apply the steps above and you can’t go wrong. If you want the exact tools and my support as you go through it, join an Extraordinary Life today. Click here to find out more.