My 8 week online course, Have a Job you Love, starts again on Monday 28th September and I wanted to take some time to explain why the course themes are so critical to you having a job and life you love.
I am using my personal experience as an example because it allows me to be open without compromising confidentiality. However, the truth is that there are many overlaps between my story and the clients I work with (and no doubt your story too).
My highest value is honesty.
I didn’t know this until 2019, but once I did I could see that almost every situation in my life where I had experienced anxiety was because it conflicted with that value.
I thought my anxiety meant there was something wrong with me. Now I understand it is my intuition alerting me that something isn’t right.
Getting really clear on your strengths and values, how you are using these, how you can use them more and how you can avoid being in conflict with them is a gamechanger in every aspect of your life.
How can you know what you are best suited to if you don’t understand the values and needs that drive every part of you?
As a lawyer I didn’t know what boundaries were, which meant I didn’t have any. I used to say yes to everything and would try to keep everyone happy the time – even when what people wanted were polar opposites. It left me stuck in the middle, feeling trapped, stressed and overwhelmed.
Unable to switch off or push back for fear of what others would think.
Looking back, I can see I was a perfectionist and a chronic people pleaser too (neither of which help when trying to create healthy boundaries).
These aspects of my personality took their toll but I had no idea that I didn’t have to be that way.
I even believed that perfectionism was a positive trait, rather than seeing it for what it is – an attempt to protect myself from rejection or criticism.
I have always been relatively confident (at least outwardly), but I recognise now that my self belief was tied to what I had achieved.
To the things I had decided would foster approval, praise and love.
When how you value yourself is tied to what you have done and what you have done doesn’t bring you joy – it’s a bit of a catch 22 that certainly left me feeling stuck and with more than anyone’s share of guilt and shame.
Learning to love myself even when, to believe my inherent self worth, to be compassionate towards all aspects of my personality has changed my life and is allowing me to change the lives of others.
I am serious when I say that everything feeds back to self belief and it is why this is the core theme of the course.
When you believe in yourself and have the confidence to show up as you are – that unlocks the door to creating a job and life you love. I don’t think it is possible otherwise, not really.
Being a perfectionist means that you are your biggest critic. When the bar is set at perfection, you can’t help but fail. Time and time again. It’s exhausting. Constantly pushing and striving for the next goal, the next promotion – telling yourself “I will be happy when” only to discover that the next goal didn’t bring happiness either.
The result is spending a lot of time in judgement.
Of yourself, but also of others.
Again, our brains can be very convincing that these are strengths, but they aren’t.
A world where we are constantly judging ourselves and others isn’t fun for anyone.
Learning self compassion and to be kinder to ourselves also has a beautiful knock on that we stop judging others and stop expecting them to be judging us.
Let me tell you – a world where we can just be and allow others to do the same feels amazing (and no, I don’t manage it every day – I am human, not perfect).
As a people pleaser, I was conflict averse and would avoid having difficult conversations or calling out unacceptable behaviour at all costs. This meant that I lived with situations that conflicted with my values. See above around anxiety.
My sleep was also horrendous – far too many nights were spent worrying about how I was going to handle a particular situation or person.
I am an introvert.
I need time alone to recharge. I need white space in my day to perform at my best.
I need time outside to feel good.
I need space.
I need to be able to get up and move at regular intervals.
However, for over a decade I chose a career with long hours, a long commute, back to back meetings and no natural light. It was not conducive to me feeling or being at my best.
Understanding how I work best and creating a working structure that compliments that has fundamentally altered my experience of life.
I am not alone in the above.
But I have worked through these areas and reaped the benefits. I have helped clients do the same and see their lives transform.
Now I want to help you.
Visit this link to find out everything you need to know about the course and to sign up.
If you want to ask me any questions please book a call with me.
You will never regret taking part in this experience. I am happy to guarantee you that.